Friday, June 20, 2008John PetkovicPlain Dealer Columnist
I’ve run from drunks, but I’ve never run drunk.
I did try to play basketball once while loaded. The ball kept on dribbling in my head even after I picked it up.
Drinking and dribbling is dangerous. So are most activities combined with imbibing, save playing in a rock band, I guess. Or rolling around on the grass. Or cuddling with your pet.
Cats and dogs, you see, live for the state of docile lethargy. Half the time they seem drunk even when they aren’t, just lazing around in a cow-eyed stupor.
Most dogs — but not Kyla.

The Irish Wheaten Terrier is the “official” Bier Markt Dog, according to the bar’s owner, Sam McNulty.
(I didn’t know that the bar had any unofficial dogs — well, except for this frisky dawg I saw the last time I was at Bier Markt, 1948 West 25th St., Cleveland. He had a thick St. Bernard-like neck, was lapping up beers and pawing a woman.)
Serving in that official role, Kyla is participating in the Third Annual Bier Markt Ohio City Run & Crawl — at 7 p.m. Saturday.
The 5K starts outside, you guessed it, Bier Markt and winds through the Ohio City neighborhood, its bars, homes and eateries. Festivities begin at 4:30 p.m. at the bar.
Registration is $25 and takes place at Market Avenue and West 25th Street. Call 216-623-9933. Or go to www.hermescleveland.com./roadracing/events/ohiocity.asp.
“We’re combining a bar crawl and a marathon race,” McNulty says. “Runners can even drink beer before and after the race.”
Bier Markt will serve all runners their first draft beer for 25 cents. Afterward, most joints, including Bier Markt, will throw parties. Market Square Park, meanwhile, will host live music and refreshments.
“Last year, we had 500 runners,” he adds. “People came in costume; we even had some dogs running in the race.”
Kyla has been training by running with McNulty, an avid jogger. She doesn’t drink beer, though.
“She doesn’t have a taste for it,” says McNulty. “But a lot of humans running do; beer, after all, has a lot of electrolytes.”
(Indeed. Buster Martin, a 101-year-old marathon runner from London, swears by it. The man is known to guzzle Guinness before, during and after races.)
That’s not to say that running and drinking works for everyone.
“One time, I drank a lot the night before I did a 10K,” says McNulty. “I was sweating Jameson and Belgian beer the whole time; my girlfriend didn’t like the smell, so I try not to do it much.”
His running partner would probably agree — that is, if she could talk.
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jpetkovic@plaind.com, 216-999-4556.